If someone has trusted in you and told you about abuse that they are experiencing, this is a positive first step. Your first instinct may be to want to protect your friend or family member but intervening can be dangerous for both you and them. There are some things you can do to help them and any children safer:

• Listen – listen and believe what they tell you.
• Be there for them – keep lines of communication open at all times and let the person know that you are always there for them when they need you.
• Don’t judge – it can be extremely difficult to leave an abusive relationship, and the decision to do so has to come from them. Try to support them to make their own choices, rather than telling them what to do.
• Reassure – reassure them that the abuse is not their fault and that they do not deserve to be treated like this.
• Get support – find out about what help is available.
• Plan – talk to your friend about what they might do in an emergency. You might be able to help them by keeping copies of important documents, keys or an overnight bag at your home in case they ever need to leave in a hurry.
• Report – if you ever witness an assault you can call the police on 999.
• Offer the use of your address and telephone number to leave information and messages.
• Make sure you look after yourself. Don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation.

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